After coping with the news that I would be having another little boy, instead of the baby girl that I so eagerly wanted, I quickly realized that this feeling of gender disappointment is very common amongst mothers, yet many are ashamed of admitting it.
Honestly, I am too.
But I share this to let other expecting moms know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
After my niece was born in May of this year I felt such a desire to have my own baby girl. So much so, that I ended up getting pregnant! Getting pregnant was not in the plans but hey, God allowed it for a reason.
When I found out that I was pregnant I felt so strongly that this child would be my girl!
Although my mom told me not to get my hopes up, I couldn’t help but look through hundreds of different baby girl nursery ideas, girl baby shower themes, and of course, mommy and me outfits I had planned to buy.
My heart was so set on a girl.. I even had a name picked out!
So, you can imagine how broken my heart was when the sonographer said: “Well, it looks like it’s a boy.”
She asked if that’s what we were expecting and I quickly responded with a “NO.” As she continued with the anatomy scan, I felt my heart heavy for that moment and I literally shed a big tear
I was upset that I wasn’t having a girl and at the same time I felt so guilty for feeling upset that I wasn’t getting what I wanted! But I couldn’t help the overwhelming emotions! I mean, I’m already a hormonal mess so imagine getting this news! I just wanted to burst out crying but I held my composure because I felt my husband’s little eyes staring right at me to see what I would do as she gave us the news.
The sonographer walked out to get the doctor and my husband took the opportunity to remind me that I should be grateful. Though I was still upset, I knew that he was right. How could I not be grateful for having the privilege of carrying another life in my womb? How could I not be grateful for the opportunity I have to raise another good, strong and God-loving man that the world so desperately needs more of.
So, as I swallowed the very hard pill of not having a little girl just yet, my husband nonchalantly goes “Well, we’ll just try again in a couple more months,” we both started cracking up. “Yeah, right” was my response.
The doctor came in and confirmed that we indeed had a healthy, growing, baby boy brewing and that all was looking great! At the end of the day, that’s all that really mattered.
I still can’t even imagine how my life is going to be with two boys but, what I do know is that I’ll definitely be needing more of Jesus.. and more coffee!
So mama, if you’re feeling a bit disappointed about the gender of your baby, first I want you to know that you are not alone! We all make plans for ourselves and a lot of times those plans don’t go the way we wanted them to go. But the beauty of it all is that God knows what we need and when we need it. We may not see it now, but sooner or later we’ll understand why.