Can We Talk Gender Disappointment?

Gender Disappointment

After coping with the news that I would be having another little boy, instead of the baby girl that I so eagerly wanted, I quickly realized that this feeling of gender disappointment is very common amongst mothers, yet many are ashamed of admitting it.

Honestly, I am too.

But I share this to let other expecting moms know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

After my niece was born in May of this year I felt such a desire to have my own baby girl. So much so, that I ended up getting pregnant! Getting pregnant was not in the plans but hey, God allowed it for a reason.

When I found out that I was pregnant I felt so strongly that this child would be my girl!

Although my mom told me not to get my hopes up, I couldn’t help but look through hundreds of different baby girl nursery ideas, girl baby shower themes, and of course, mommy and me outfits I had planned to buy.

My heart was so set on a girl.. I even had a name picked out!

So, you can imagine how broken my heart was when the sonographer said: “Well, it looks like it’s a boy.”

She asked if that’s what we were expecting and I quickly responded with a “NO.” As she continued with the anatomy scan, I felt my heart heavy for that moment and I literally shed a big tear

I was upset that I wasn’t having a girl and at the same time I felt so guilty for feeling upset that I wasn’t getting what I wanted! But I couldn’t help the overwhelming emotions! I mean, I’m already a hormonal mess so imagine getting this news! I just wanted to burst out crying but I held my composure because I felt my husband’s little eyes staring right at me to see what I would do as she gave us the news.

The sonographer walked out to get the doctor and my husband took the opportunity to remind me that I should be grateful. Though I was still upset, I knew that he was right. How could I not be grateful for having the privilege of carrying another life in my womb? How could I not be grateful for the opportunity I have to raise another good, strong and God-loving man that the world so desperately needs more of.

So, as I swallowed the very hard pill of not having a little girl just yet, my husband nonchalantly goes “Well, we’ll just try again in a couple more months,” we both started cracking up. “Yeah, right” was my response.

The doctor came in and confirmed that we indeed had a healthy, growing, baby boy brewing and that all was looking great! At the end of the day, that’s all that really mattered.

I still can’t even imagine how my life is going to be with two boys but, what I do know is that I’ll definitely be needing more of Jesus.. and more coffee!

So mama, if you’re feeling a bit disappointed about the gender of your baby, first I want you to know that you are not alone! We all make plans for ourselves and a lot of times those plans don’t go the way we wanted them to go. But the beauty of it all is that God knows what we need and when we need it. We may not see it now, but sooner or later we’ll understand why.

In the meantime, let’s embrace the beautiful blessing of being able to carry life and the privilege we have been given to be mamas! <3

Gender Disappointment

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(2) Comments

  1. With my first, they told me at the 14 week ultrasound that they were 95% sure it was a girl…for 6 weeks, I planned girl, bought dresses, picked out a name…so when they placed that transducer on my belly at 20 weeks and I immediately saw his little boy bits, I cried…I cried all the way through the ultrasound. With my 2nd I just knew by the time I got to my anatomy scan that it was a boy…with my 3rd, I was so convinced that it was the daughter I had prayed for for years…I didnt even tell anyone that it was a boy. I grieved for a few weeks before I could bring myself to tell people…but then, I was actually excited it was another boy. I was excited to pick out boy clothes…so, yes, it’s normal to be disappointed. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings so you can grieve the loss of your hope for a daughter. That way, you can get to the point where you see how stinking blessed you really are!

    1. That is so true! Thank you for sharing and relating Melissa <3

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