Your words have power!
Don’t believe me?
The Bible itself says that the power of life and death lies in the tongue.
Motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar once said
“There is power in words. What you say is what you get.”
If words were not important then the world as we know it would not have come to exist when God said, “Let there be light!”
Our words have the power to create.
I find this truth so valuable to understand because we often go through life complaining and cursing our circumstances, thinking that by speaking negatively, our situations will change. This way of thinking is terribly wrong. We have the power to change atmospheres by simply changing the words we release from our mouths.
The word of God says that a wise woman EDIFIES her home.
A synonym for the verb edify is cultivate. In terms of gardening, it means to prepare or fertilize the land.
How can we use our words to cultivate, or prepare our children for the future?
We speak seeds of life and positivity.
The seeds you plant in your children when they are young are the same seeds that will germinate as they continue to grow and find their identity in this world.
As mothers, we should always strive to maintain an atmosphere full of love and peace, but also of positivity, in our homes.
Our homes should be a haven for our family-a place where they can feel safe and secure. It should also be a place where they know that they are able to make mistakes, grow, and learn without being spoken down to with harsh words.
“Gentle words are a tree of life.” — Proverbs 15:4
I believe that it’s safe to say that at times we verbalize things out of habit and fail to realize the declarations that we are making over the lives of our children.
“You are such a fussy baby.”
“You are a trouble maker.”
“You are a brat!”
“You guys are going to be the death of me!”
Ouch, those words seem so harsh when we are not heated in the moment. I embarrassingly admit that I, too have been there before and have said things that I don’t really mean!
Can you think of something that you say out of habit when you are frustrated?
What’s important to remember is that although we may not see the effects of our words at the moment, as our children grow, those seeds will grow too.
I love my parents and I believe that they instilled some very amazing principles in me that I know I will instill in my children, but I do remember growing up in a household where harsh words were commonly used during moments of frustration. Some of those harsh words took me years to heal from.
Words are powerful and they have the ability to build – while they also have the ability to destroy.
It’s easy to curse a situation, speak negatively about something that isn’t going the way that we want it to go, but the power is in holding our tongues. When we learn to hold our tongue we are able to stop, think and refrain from making declarations that we don’t really mean.
“Our words have creative power. With our words, we can speak blessings over our future.” — Joel Osteen
How do I change the way that I speak to my child?
I’ve worked with children for many years and being a mom, I have seen first-hand how children, even at a young age, will do things that will challenge your character. I’ve said this before and will always say, being a mom is NOT easy, but we are wise and we are capable of raising amazing children with God’s guidance.
Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. —Proverbs 16:24
Be Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak and Slow to Anger
If your child is acting out, instead of immediately condemning them, first take a moment to hear them out. Most children act out because they want attention, feel misunderstood, and/or are frustrated. Be quick to listen first and you’ll be surprised about how your child will respond.
Assess Your Tone
Sometimes reprimanding is necessary- It is in our job description to guide and teach our children. But tone and positive words matter! Children will be more likely to listen if they are not being yelled at or spoken down to. Children will likely respond positively if they are being spoken to in gentle yet stern tones versus harsh and aggressive ones.
Overweigh the Negative With the Positive
We are called to edify! When speaking with your children, remember to call attention to good behavior as much as possible. You don’t want your children to feel like you always have something negative to say when you open your mouth. Stress the good, while still correcting the bad when needed.
Pray For Yourself
Being a mama comes with many challenges. Motherhood is a learning process and every day we get a little better. Remaining in prayer is one essential component of surviving motherhood! God has already made us capable of being mothers and He has already equipped us with wisdom, but there’s nothing wrong with asking Holy Spirit to continue captivating our thoughts and helping us strengthen our ability to suppress the urge to speak when what we really need to do is just listen!
Pray For Them
Children will be children, they are learning just as much as we are! But a mother’s prayer for her children goes a long way. They may be little but they need Holy Spirit too and our prayers can be what makes the difference in a baby being fussy all day or a toddler throwing tantrum after tantrum rather of using their words to express their needs. Remember, we can set atmospheres with what we speak!
When my 2-year-old is not acting like himself and his temperament seems to become unmanageable, I like to pray that he may be filled with peace and that whatever is causing him to act out may be revealed to me.